28 Metaphors for Useless

Sometimes, people feel like they are not helping much, even when they try. This feeling can be hard to explain. That’s why we use metaphors. Metaphors help us compare things in simple ways. They make our ideas easier to understand. If you say, “He’s as helpful as a screen door on a submarine,” it shows someone isn’t helpful at all, in a funny and clear way.

In this article, we’ll learn many metaphors that describe things or people that don’t work well or don’t have a purpose. These phrases are used in daily talk and help us explain things that just don’t do the job. You might hear these in jokes or stories. Learning them can make your speaking and writing more fun and easier for others to understand.

Metaphors for Useless

1. As useful as a screen door on a submarine

Meaning: Not useful at all
Example Sentence:
– Trying to use a paper umbrella in a thunderstorm is like a screen door on a submarine.
– His advice was as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
Other ways to say: Worthless, doesn’t help
Fun Fact/Origin: Submarines are airtight. A screen door would let in water and sink it.
Usage: Used when something is completely unhelpful.

2. A chocolate teapot

Meaning: Something that melts under pressure and is useless
Example Sentence:
– That toy is like a chocolate teapot—falls apart fast.
– This rule is as helpful as a chocolate teapot.
Other ways to say: Fragile, not helpful
Fun Fact/Origin: Chocolate melts with heat, so a teapot made of it would be silly.
Usage: Used when something doesn’t work for the task.

3. A car without wheels

Meaning: Can’t do its job
Example Sentence:
– That broken vacuum is like a car without wheels.
– A coach without a whistle is a car without wheels.
Other ways to say: Broken, useless
Fun Fact/Origin: Cars need wheels to move—without them, they’re stuck.
Usage: Used when something important is missing.

4. A pencil with no lead

Meaning: Can’t be used for its main job
Example Sentence:
– I grabbed a pencil, but it had no lead. Useless!
– A pencil with no lead won’t help on a test.
Other ways to say: Broken, empty
Fun Fact/Origin: The lead is what makes marks. Without it, the pencil is just a stick.
Usage: Used for objects that look fine but don’t work.

5. A flashlight with no batteries

Meaning: Something that doesn’t work
Example Sentence:
– That idea is like a flashlight with no batteries.
– He brought a flashlight, but it had no batteries. It was useless.
Other ways to say: Dead, non-working
Fun Fact/Origin: Flashlights only shine if they have power.
Usage: Used when something has no power to work.

6. A book with blank pages

Meaning: Looks helpful, but it isn’t
Example Sentence:
– This guidebook is like a book with blank pages.
– It looked like a real manual, but it had nothing inside.
Other ways to say: Empty, fake
Fun Fact/Origin: Books are for reading—blank ones give no help.
Usage: Used when something is expected to help but doesn’t.

7. A ladder with missing rungs

Meaning: Hard or impossible to use
Example Sentence:
– This plan is like a ladder with missing rungs.
– He tried to fix it, but the tools were like a ladder with holes.
Other ways to say: Faulty, broken
Fun Fact/Origin: You can’t climb a ladder with big gaps.
Usage: Used when something is not built right.

8. A phone with no signal

Meaning: Looks fine but can’t do its job
Example Sentence:
– My phone is like one with no signal out here.
– What good is a phone with no signal in an emergency?
Other ways to say: Useless, powerless
Fun Fact/Origin: Phones need a network to connect calls or internet.
Usage: Used for things that should work but don’t.

9. A clock with no hands

Meaning: Can’t show time
Example Sentence:
– That wall clock is like a clock with no hands.
– Without hands, it’s just decoration.
Other ways to say: Pointless, not useful
Fun Fact/Origin: A clock tells time through its hands.
Usage: Used for tools that don’t perform their function.

10. A boat with no oars

Meaning: Can’t move or go anywhere
Example Sentence:
– You’re stuck, like a boat with no oars.
– This plan is a boat with no oars—we’re not going anywhere.
Other ways to say: Stuck, helpless
Fun Fact/Origin: Oars help you row a boat. Without them, it drifts.
Usage: Used when someone or something has no way to move forward.

11. A car without gas

Meaning: Something that can’t run or move
Example Sentence:
– That plan is a car without gas—it won’t go anywhere.
– A toy with no batteries is like a car without gas.
Other ways to say: Out of power, not working
Fun Fact/Origin: A car needs fuel to run. Without it, it sits still.
Usage: Used when something lacks energy or a key part.

12. A fish on a bicycle

Meaning: Something that makes no sense or has no purpose
Example Sentence:
– Giving him a math book at a cooking class is like a fish on a bicycle.
– She felt like a fish on a bicycle at the sports camp.
Other ways to say: Out of place, pointless
Fun Fact/Origin: Fish don’t need bikes, so it’s a silly match.
Usage: Used when something doesn’t belong or help.

13. A fire without heat

Meaning: Something that looks right but doesn’t do its job
Example Sentence:
– That campfire was like a fire without heat—just for show.
– A fire without heat won’t keep anyone warm.
Other ways to say: Fake, not working
Fun Fact/Origin: Fire is meant to warm—no heat means it failed.
Usage: Used when the purpose is missing.

14. A roof with holes

Meaning: Something that doesn’t give full help or protection
Example Sentence:
– This contract is like a roof with holes—it won’t protect us.
– A raincoat with tears is a roof with holes.
Other ways to say: Flawed, incomplete
Fun Fact/Origin: A leaky roof lets water in, which beats its purpose.
Usage: Used when something fails to protect or work well.

15. A song with no melody

Meaning: Missing the main part
Example Sentence:
– That speech was like a song with no melody—flat and dull.
– It felt like a party with no fun—just like a song with no melody.
Other ways to say: Lifeless, unexciting
Fun Fact/Origin: A melody is the heart of a song. Without it, it’s just noise.
Usage: Used when something lacks its key feature.

16. A plane with no wings

Meaning: Can’t go anywhere or fly
Example Sentence:
– That idea won’t take off—it’s like a plane with no wings.
– A dream without effort is a plane with no wings.
Other ways to say: Grounded, stalled
Fun Fact/Origin: Planes need wings to fly.
Usage: Used when a plan can’t move forward.

17. A lock with no key

Meaning: Stuck with no way to fix it
Example Sentence:
– This puzzle is like a lock with no key—no way to solve it.
– A lock with no key keeps help out, not in.
Other ways to say: Closed, sealed
Fun Fact/Origin: A key is what opens a lock—without it, you’re stuck.
Usage: Used when a problem can’t be solved.

18. A sandwich with no filling

Meaning: Something that looks right but is empty inside
Example Sentence:
– That class felt like a sandwich with no filling—boring and plain.
– Her gift was a sandwich with no filling—nothing inside.
Other ways to say: Hollow, incomplete
Fun Fact/Origin: A sandwich needs filling to taste good.
Usage: Used when something has no real value.

19. A computer with no screen

Meaning: Missing the part that shows or helps
Example Sentence:
– Using that app without sound is like a computer with no screen.
– This tablet is useless, like a computer with no screen.
Other ways to say: Broken, non-working
Fun Fact/Origin: A screen shows what the computer does. Without it, it’s blind.
Usage: Used when you can’t see or use something.

20. A shovel with holes

Meaning: Can’t dig or hold anything
Example Sentence:
– That plan is like a shovel with holes—you keep losing things.
– A shovel with holes is no good for snow or sand.
Other ways to say: Faulty, weak
Fun Fact/Origin: A shovel needs to hold dirt. Holes ruin that.
Usage: Used when a tool or plan doesn’t work right.

21. A lightbulb with no light

Meaning: Doesn’t shine or do what it’s meant to
Example Sentence:
– That idea is like a lightbulb with no light—it adds nothing.
– A lightbulb with no light is just glass.
Other ways to say: Useless, dim
Fun Fact/Origin: Light Bulbs are made to light up rooms.
Usage: Used when something should help but doesn’t.

22. A parachute that won’t open

Meaning: Totally fails when needed
Example Sentence:
– A plan that can’t save money is like a parachute that won’t open.
– It’s risky, like jumping with a parachute that won’t open.
Other ways to say: Dangerous, unhelpful
Fun Fact/Origin: A parachute saves you in free fall—if it doesn’t open, it fails.
Usage: Used when failure could be serious.

23. A map with no directions

Meaning: Has no helpful guidance
Example Sentence:
– That guide was like a map with no directions—totally confusing.
– A map with no directions won’t help anyone get anywhere.
Other ways to say: Misleading, unclear
Fun Fact/Origin: Maps are for showing the way—without that, they’re just drawings.
Usage: Used when something gives no help.

24. A sponge made of stone

Meaning: Doesn’t soak up anything
Example Sentence:
– A sponge made of stone won’t clean anything—just like that tool.
– This towel is like a sponge made of stone—completely useless.
Other ways to say: Ineffective, wrong material
Fun Fact/Origin: Sponges are soft to absorb water—stone can’t.
Usage: Used when something can’t do its job.

25. A pen with no ink

Meaning: Looks fine but doesn’t work
Example Sentence:
– That pen is like a pen with no ink—what’s the point?
– Trying to write with no results feels like a pen with no ink.
Other ways to say: Dry, worn-out
Fun Fact/Origin: Pens need ink to write. No ink means no writing.
Usage: Used when something is empty inside.

26. A snowman in the sun

Meaning: Melts away fast; can’t last
Example Sentence:
– That idea is like a snowman in the sun—gone too quickly.
– Plans without support are snowmen in the sun.
Other ways to say: Temporary, weak
Fun Fact/Origin: Snow melts in the sun.
Usage: Used for things that fail fast.

27. A bucket with a hole

Meaning: Can’t hold anything; loses everything
Example Sentence:
– A leaky plan is like a bucket with a hole—useless.
– Her story is like a bucket with a hole—full of gaps.
Other ways to say: Broken, leaky
Fun Fact/Origin: Buckets are for holding water. A hole ruins that.
Usage: Used when something fails at its main job.

28. A mute radio

Meaning: Can’t play sound; has no value
Example Sentence:
– That speaker is a mute radio—looks nice, but no sound.
– A mute radio won’t play music—just silence.
Other ways to say: Silent, broken
Fun Fact/Origin: Radios are made to play sound. If they don’t, they fail.
Usage: Used when something is silent when it shouldn’t be.

Quiz: Metaphors for Useless

Instructions: Choose the correct meaning for each metaphor. Each question has one correct answer. Use what you’ve learned from the metaphors to find the best choice.

Question Key

1. What does the metaphor “a screen door on a submarine” mean?

A) Something that keeps you safe
B) Something that’s funny
C) Something that doesn’t help at all

2. If something is “like a chocolate teapot,” what does that suggest?

A) It tastes sweet
B) It falls apart and can’t be used
C) It keeps things warm

3. What does “a pencil with no lead” mean?

A) The pencil is colorful
B) It’s ready to use
C) It’s useless for writing

4. If someone says a plan is “like a ladder with missing rungs,” what do they mean?

A) It is easy to follow
B) It is hard to use or climb
C) It is tall and strong

5. What is meant by “a flashlight with no batteries”?

A) It lights up everything
B) It doesn’t work
C) It makes noise

6. What does it mean if someone says “that’s a book with blank pages”?

A) It has too many words
B) It’s confusing
C) It’s empty and doesn’t help

7. If a tool is called “a shovel with holes,” what does that suggest?

A) It works better than normal
B) It’s fun to use
C) It can’t do its job well

8. What does “a map with no directions” mean?

A) It gives good help
B) It doesn’t help at all
C) It tells stories

9. If a gift is “like a sandwich with no filling,” what does it mean?

A) It’s delicious
B) It’s full and useful
C) It looks nice but has nothing inside

10. What does it mean if something is “like a bucket with a hole”?

A) It holds a lot of things
B) It leaks and can’t hold anything
C) It makes loud noises

Answer Key

  1. C) Something that doesn’t help at all
  2. B) It falls apart and can’t be used
  3. C) It’s useless for writing
  4. B) It is hard to use or climb
  5. B) It doesn’t work
  6. C) It’s empty and doesn’t help
  7. C) It can’t do its job well
  8. B) It doesn’t help at all
  9. C) It looks nice but has nothing inside
  10. B) It leaks and can’t hold anything

Wrapping Up

Metaphors help us talk about things in fun and clear ways. When something doesn’t work or has no purpose, these sayings help us describe that. From screen doors on submarines to buckets with holes, these phrases show us what “useless” can look like in real life. Now you know how to spot and use these expressions.

📘 Learn more about metaphors in our metaphor guide. Or view all metaphor articles.
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Ben Donovan
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